Dating a guy in the marines
This is based solely on the experiences of my veteran friends, as well as my own with a past paramour. The military teaches service members to trust their unit, and few others. If he comes to you with a problem, chances are he’ll talk about it until he no longer wants to and then go into lockdown. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, that is just a matter of fact and something you need to understand. Military men are used to their band of brothers, and are bred to be loyal and protective. Some branches of the military (I’m looking at you, Marines) have a feeling of superiority over others.
This list is not simply a composition of pros or cons, but rather an overview of what dating a service member active duty or veteran — is like. They are meant to be extremely close with this group of people and everyone else is simply on a need-to-know basis. It is not a competition between his military friends and you; they are people who shared a very intimate part of his life, and you should want to be close with them, too. He will love you fiercely and be the most faithful companion, if you can promise the same. Granted, that is earned due to the nature of their work and how much they put on the line.
There are some extremely good guys in the Corps, but there are also extremely good guys who are not in the military at all, just like there are douchebags everywhere. Life is not like An Officer and a Gentleman and you are not Debra Winger! Your household goods are scheduled to arrive while he is gone.
I know there are women out there who want to date a guy in the military. The tearful partings, extended separations, passionate returns. He is not going to swoop in, in uniform no less, and save you from your dreary life! You, your toddler, and husband move across the ocean. You are going to mainland Japan for training for a month! You’ll get to supervise that (and good luck, they might not speak any English) while keeping track of your toddler and then you’ll get to unpack it all.
It isn’t that he doesn’t want to do it, it is that he is forbidden from these actions while he is in uniform. Marines are subject to deployment with very little notice.
There are certain things that strong military relationships have.
Limit public displays of affection when your Marine is in uniform.
Public displays of affection are frowned upon by the Marine Corps according to the Military Spouse magazine article "Do's and Don'ts While in Uniform." While acts such as hugging or holding hands may be permissible at special events, such as graduations from boot camp, you shouldn’t expect your Marine to do these acts in public on a consistent basis.
There are some units that can deploy on short notice (my ex deployed once on 4 days notice), but for the most part, you’ll have tons of advance warning.
Just because a man is in the Marine Corps, it does not mean he is Channing Tatum in Dear John. You are stuck at home with a toddler all day with no one to help you.